sirobvious:

arrow-to-the-nii:

nohnoelle:

How To Train Your Humans

Give me a goddamn cup of coffee you shitty sunnuva fuckbasket.

$25

(Source: epic-humor)

fanboyofallthings:

Baka and Test: Summoned Beings

kite117:

And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddling kids and your talking dog

(Source: mysharona1987)

(Source: fuks)

divafierce:

rare footage of Taylor Swift, Perez Hilton and Jeniffer Lawrence admitting to be satanists and a part of the Illuminati

divafierce:

rare footage of Taylor Swift, Perez Hilton and Jeniffer Lawrence admitting to be satanists and a part of the Illuminati

(Source: madonnasnudes)

kaeandlucy:

tuggysaurusrex:

finally a bandaid product for me

(Source: nostopdasgay)

woodmeat:

chevy-raised-jack-daniels-fed:

merrymaudlin:

mercurykiss:

thugburrito:

My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%

NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY
So a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.

It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.

An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.

So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.

My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.

I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..

What’s next pizza delivery hitmen

included in this order for a large ground beef is a dossier containing information on your target. he is to be neutralized before delivery. do not let him reach the airport. no pepperoni.

Questionhey you know those photos of trees where it looks like they have a big round human ASS, that's a tree disease right, what's it called Answer

yugichrist:

homohustle:

yugichrist:

homohustle:

if it’s what I’m thinking of, those are called Burls if you’re murrican or Burrs if you’re from pretty much literally anywhere else

It’s less of a disease in itself and more like a sign of a disease.  Usually fungal infections fuck up the tree growth and cause them

People actually steal them sometimes because some of them are super valuable.  They make really cool looking carved stuff and are really dense.

what the fuck. they just chop the ass right off a tree and sell it to the tree ass black market. that’s brutal

That’s… Yeah, that’s actually pretty accurate.

People have actually been arrested for it and redwood national park gets blocked off at night because people stealing and selling tree ass on the black market is such a big problem

requesting backup for a 376 in process, that’s right we’ve got a tree ass jacker here

callmeoutis:


iamtwip:

grreenleaf:

wastelandbabe:

grreenleaf:

look a t my  fucking hair its ? mess

wait wtf that’s my face
wtf you have my face






the parent trap: modern au

callmeoutis:

iamtwip:

grreenleaf:

wastelandbabe:

grreenleaf:

look a t my  fucking hair its ? mess

wait wtf that’s my face

wtf you have my face

image

image

the parent trap: modern au